Hmm very interesting. I anxiously worry a lot but did not make the connection between that and my big outdoor adventures. As I sit here a week out from my Azt section, and people are telling me it's going to be too hot and water sources are drying up, and that I should flip farther north, it's tempting to take the easy way out. Don't think I will though. My big dream is for my 5th book to sell better than my other 4. It takes a lot of courage to keep sending it out to agents.
Isn't it funny how right before a long trail there feels like a lot to fear? Mountain lions. Pack too heavy. Not enough water. No matter how often you do it. When do you start the PCT?
This one is about TB sanitoriums in the 1940s, and mountain climbing, and Rosie Riveter!
Working in a tech job as a manager, I think about this a lot and wish more people did. When someone is melting down about one fire or another, I have to remind myself that it’s not that serious… we’re not saving lives from a burning building 😅 appreciate your perspective!
Oh this is such a great piece, really layered in meaning, thank you! It also made me realise that even though in middle 50’s now, I’ve scared the crap out of myself in so many different ways over the years. I started travelling overseas on my own when I was in my 20’s, I’m an introvert for whom striking up friendships is not easy, it costs a lot of energy, not to mention travelling as a woman on my own. In my 30’s I found out that I would have trouble having kids, when I’d always wanted to be a mum. In my 40’s, I had two kids via donor eggs in Thailand, just keeping them alive and thriving every day has been frightening. Now I’m in the middle of my 50’s and dreaming of a life on my own schedule, I will do it because I have worked that muscle before. I’ve always loved an outdoor challenge, walked and ran a marathon, did the Oxfam Trailwalker, 100km in 48 hours, the last 30km’s of which were on completely blistered feet, in the rain. Keep posting, I love these articles.
Love it, I've been writing code my whole life, I agree that doing a "hard" big thing outdoors every year makes me approach life and work much differently, all the sudden, nothing seems as hard or scary anymore.
One outdoor adventure can be synonymous with starting a business, reaching out to an estranged loved one, going on a rollercoaster with a fear of heights, traveling out of country, making small talk w a stranger as an extreme introvert, and yes, going back to bedside nursing like Silver Sparrow in the comments. Anything that makes you afraid is a deposit into your bank account of bravery and will have far-reaching consequences for your entire life.
Another great post, Kevin. Appreciate your vulnerability as always.
And I agree 100%. I find this in the form of outdoor adventures, but I realize that won’t be attractive to everyone. But to Joe’s point, there a ton of different ways to get this exposure!
I had been a professional bread baker for 2 years (smells better than nursing.) I have been away from bedside nursing for 10 years (did other forms of nursing--inspections, school nursing, remote covid assessments etc) I returned to bedside nursing very unsure after not using those skills for so long. It's been a month now and it has worked out well (with a few hiccups...and unknown risks ahead) But my goal is to buy land and a cabin. It keeps me focused beyond the fear of failure. If I can make it a year I can buy what I need and survive. If I make it 2 years I will survive comfortably. At 66, I know it's a risk. But so was suffocating in a dead end job. Your post was really helpful today. It put my feelings and fears into words, and reinforced my goals. Thank you!
I’ve braved a few scary things over my 67 years. I went to a British Horse Society school in England after I graduated high school. Never been further than the local mall ony own. Got on a plane, Pan Am or TWA, and off I went. Scared the bejuses out of my. First time in a commercial jet was an experience, the 5 months that followed, even more so.
I became the first state-certified female firefighter in my home town at the age of 25. Biggest fear during the training was being carried 2 stories down a ladder, by a guy who was afraid of heights. Give me the big guy to carry, I’m good! Getting carried? Not so much.
Selling our horse farm in CT and moving to VA where we knew no one - that ranks up there too!
My next one is that half marathon I mentioned the other day. I have the list narrowed down to 3!
Thanks for the honesty, vulnerability, and encouragement!
“Nobody was going to die if their iPhone delivered a day late” – you might laugh, but that was the first thing that caught me and made me go back and reread the whole piece. I still need time to sit with it, but I can already say this: thank you.
Hmm very interesting. I anxiously worry a lot but did not make the connection between that and my big outdoor adventures. As I sit here a week out from my Azt section, and people are telling me it's going to be too hot and water sources are drying up, and that I should flip farther north, it's tempting to take the easy way out. Don't think I will though. My big dream is for my 5th book to sell better than my other 4. It takes a lot of courage to keep sending it out to agents.
You’ll know better than anyone on what big outdoor goals can do!
And that’s a perfect example - Risk is the water callout, but fear is the book agent thing.
I bet your book is amazing, you should definitely go for it.
What’s this one about?
Isn't it funny how right before a long trail there feels like a lot to fear? Mountain lions. Pack too heavy. Not enough water. No matter how often you do it. When do you start the PCT?
This one is about TB sanitoriums in the 1940s, and mountain climbing, and Rosie Riveter!
I’m thru-hiking the Benton MacKaye in TN/GA in 39 days and then the JMT in August.
You’re right - I’m scared 4 weeks out and that is only going to build!
That's right--JMT!!
This is great.
Working in a tech job as a manager, I think about this a lot and wish more people did. When someone is melting down about one fire or another, I have to remind myself that it’s not that serious… we’re not saving lives from a burning building 😅 appreciate your perspective!
Well it’s a lot harder to have that perspective when you’re in the middle of the fire, that’s for sure!
Oh this is such a great piece, really layered in meaning, thank you! It also made me realise that even though in middle 50’s now, I’ve scared the crap out of myself in so many different ways over the years. I started travelling overseas on my own when I was in my 20’s, I’m an introvert for whom striking up friendships is not easy, it costs a lot of energy, not to mention travelling as a woman on my own. In my 30’s I found out that I would have trouble having kids, when I’d always wanted to be a mum. In my 40’s, I had two kids via donor eggs in Thailand, just keeping them alive and thriving every day has been frightening. Now I’m in the middle of my 50’s and dreaming of a life on my own schedule, I will do it because I have worked that muscle before. I’ve always loved an outdoor challenge, walked and ran a marathon, did the Oxfam Trailwalker, 100km in 48 hours, the last 30km’s of which were on completely blistered feet, in the rain. Keep posting, I love these articles.
Thank you for the kind words!
You’ve certainly flexed the fear muscle and I bet you’re much stronger because of it!
Love it, I've been writing code my whole life, I agree that doing a "hard" big thing outdoors every year makes me approach life and work much differently, all the sudden, nothing seems as hard or scary anymore.
Love it! Do you have anything planned for 2026?
One outdoor adventure can be synonymous with starting a business, reaching out to an estranged loved one, going on a rollercoaster with a fear of heights, traveling out of country, making small talk w a stranger as an extreme introvert, and yes, going back to bedside nursing like Silver Sparrow in the comments. Anything that makes you afraid is a deposit into your bank account of bravery and will have far-reaching consequences for your entire life.
Another great post, Kevin. Appreciate your vulnerability as always.
Thanks, Joe!
And I agree 100%. I find this in the form of outdoor adventures, but I realize that won’t be attractive to everyone. But to Joe’s point, there a ton of different ways to get this exposure!
I had been a professional bread baker for 2 years (smells better than nursing.) I have been away from bedside nursing for 10 years (did other forms of nursing--inspections, school nursing, remote covid assessments etc) I returned to bedside nursing very unsure after not using those skills for so long. It's been a month now and it has worked out well (with a few hiccups...and unknown risks ahead) But my goal is to buy land and a cabin. It keeps me focused beyond the fear of failure. If I can make it a year I can buy what I need and survive. If I make it 2 years I will survive comfortably. At 66, I know it's a risk. But so was suffocating in a dead end job. Your post was really helpful today. It put my feelings and fears into words, and reinforced my goals. Thank you!
Congrats on setting the goal! I have no doubt that you will be able make it happen
I’ve braved a few scary things over my 67 years. I went to a British Horse Society school in England after I graduated high school. Never been further than the local mall ony own. Got on a plane, Pan Am or TWA, and off I went. Scared the bejuses out of my. First time in a commercial jet was an experience, the 5 months that followed, even more so.
I became the first state-certified female firefighter in my home town at the age of 25. Biggest fear during the training was being carried 2 stories down a ladder, by a guy who was afraid of heights. Give me the big guy to carry, I’m good! Getting carried? Not so much.
Selling our horse farm in CT and moving to VA where we knew no one - that ranks up there too!
My next one is that half marathon I mentioned the other day. I have the list narrowed down to 3!
Thanks for the honesty, vulnerability, and encouragement!
“Nobody was going to die if their iPhone delivered a day late” – you might laugh, but that was the first thing that caught me and made me go back and reread the whole piece. I still need time to sit with it, but I can already say this: thank you.
Thank you!